18 In No Time

It's happening. That thing they said would happen. You have a baby & they say, "You will blink & she'll be all grown up." Or, "Before you know it she'll be going off to college." 

There are times, I'm sure many still to come, when it feels like time is standing still, nothing is changing, we will never get past this point & to that "better place." Like chores...will chores ever just get done?! Does it make me a good mama or a terrible housekeeper when she is gone overnight for an extra night...then 2 extra nights & I don't do the mound of dishes or scrub the shower because those are her chores? The shower isn't growing any mushrooms behind the shampoo bottle & I didn't run out of utensils, but I can assure you I was hoping so hard that anyone who witnessed this wouldn't judge my homemaking skills. I was just thinking, "Please let them understand, it is her responsibility & she has to be accountable!!!" Or her bedroom...why does it pain me so when my bedroom & my best friend's bedroom weren't far from this growing up? Is it because we at least had the decency to remove dirty dishes/garbage the same day? Our mess was strictly clothing, hair stuff, makeup & papers.

Today she came home from her Thursday night sleepover that turned into a Thursday-Saturday nights sleepover so that she could do her chores. This is the only way she would be allowed to go to a movie tonight. Chores had to be done...COMPLETELY DONE! No only washing the shower doors, but not the walls, shelves or floor. No random dishes that weren't inside the sink left unwashed. Done. All. The. Way. Done! 

On my way home I was contemplating whether I wanted to watch this movie...that I watched last night...again. It was a good movie, but it isn't exactly uplifting. I almost full on cried, not a trickle of a tear elegantly down the cheek, but full on sobs, no less than 8 times during this movie. So I'm thinking, "Do I want to subject myself to that 2 nights in a row? Is that healthy for my mental state? Do I feel comfortable just dropping my teen off at the theater?"

First almost cry...
right here.

Here's the end result. It was a bit jarring. She is 14 years old! FOURTEEN!!! It is OK to take her to a movie theater in Astoria & drop her off with her friend at the ticket window. Why do I have such a hard time letting her do things I was doing at her age? Probably because she's my baby & I don't like to think that she's at an age where she can go to a movie with a friend or the pool without me being right there the entire time.

So in order to reign myself in I thought about what I was doing at 14...in the 8th grade. I had a boyfriend who was in high school. He picked my friends & I up from school. If he didn't, one of my friends' high school boyfriends did. We rode around in the back of Mickie's boyfriend's truck. In. The. Truck. Bed. Oh, I smoked...Marlboro Lights. I smoked Marlboro Lights while riding in the back of my bestie's boyfriend's truck on my way home from the 8th grade! When we weren't riding around with high school boys we were walking to Taco Bell or McDonald's or the gas station to buy more Marlboro Lights or Osco Drug because we were out of eyeliner. We were sneaking out late at night to walk around with boys & smoke Marlboro Lights. Where we lived had a population comparable to McMinnville & was only a few blocks away from Kansas City, MO which apparently has an even higher crime rate than I thought. 

This is how it compared to LA in 2006. Couldn't find a graph for 1994, but the stats were similar.

Here's KCMO to Portland in 2006...you know you were curious.

Needless to say, I am grateful she thinks cigarettes are disgusting. She doesn't have some high school boy trying to date her. She gets rides home from her friends' parents sometimes, but we live close enough to walk. She sneaks out to my roof...and tells me about it. I know the chances are high that this will all change very soon. I know next year she will be a freshman (fresh meat) in high school. In 8 months she can get her permit. In a year & 8 months she could be driving. It will all be over in no time just like they warned me! Dropping her off at the movies isn't that big of a deal now that I think about it. The next 4 years I will be wishing that was my only worry! I guess I will also be thankful that we don't live in Pan-Am & she wasn't chosen in the reaping to fight in the Hunger Games.

***This blog is not sponsored by the Hunger Games. The books are amazing. The movies also. If you want to be grateful your children aren't in the running to be sent to a fight to the death each year...check them out.***