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This past Friday night I was once again reminded of my love for this community. It has been 19 years since we left Raytown, Missouri and returned to the Oregon Coast to be closer to our family again. Oh how things can change in 19 years!

We grew up in Raytown. I was 5, Amber was 3 when we moved there. We went to school and made childhood friends, we adjusted to having four seasons, white Christmases, the Plaza Lights, hot summer days by the pool, malls everywhere, city life...well suburban life. We also missed our family in Oregon. We visited in the summer and then for Thanksgiving or Christmas once my dad moved back to Oregon. My uncle used to send us a fresh noble fir every year. He would go cut down the perfect tree & send it UPS to us. I think we looked forward to that the most...and a close second were the Plaza lights. 

Miles & miles of lights, perfectly lining all of the beautiful architecture on the Plaza, months of preparation and each Thanksgiving, with the flip of a switch, they'd all light up. Every night from Thanksgiving through the New Year you could go down to the Plaza & see this twinkling masterpiece. Now I have framed prints of these lights in my office, year round, but it isn't quite the same. 

After 9 years in Missouri, the last 4 with my dad back on the West Coast, my mom was ready to be close to her family again. We were too, but we weren't so excited to be leaving all of our childhood friends. The kids we'd known since before Kindergarten. It was a hard move to make. Bittersweet, and to a 14 year old girl some of it seemed like the worst thing that could ever happen in all my life.

Mickie's front porch, September 1994. Some of the friends we had to say goodbye to.

So in October 1994, we took another U-Haul adventure, this time from Raytown, Missouri to Astoria, Oregon. We had visited the summer before and checked out the town, looked at all those Victorian houses perched on a hill & blue skies & the views, the river & the bay. It was all very exciting until you said goodbye to the only friends you knew. We got here mid-October of my freshman year. It was rainy & grey. Our new house wasn't as big as the old one, we didn't live on a lovely cul-de-sac or have a big backyard anymore. None of the neighbors had swimming pools. THERE WERE NO MALLS WITHIN 15 MINUTES...or an or an hour (Three Rivers does not count as a mall)...they were 2 LONG hours away!!! No Taco Bell or Hardee's or Sonic...America's favorite drive-in!!! We started attending schools that were more similar in size to the elementary school in Raytown. We were the new kids in a place where families had been for generations. It sucked. It rained every day but 14 of the first 6 months we lived here. It definitely wasn't love at first sight.

We lived through the first rainy winter...no snow to speak of. No Plaza lights. There were good changes too, though. We only had to drive 2 hours to be with our family now, instead of 5 hours flying then a 2 hour drive from the airport. That was amazing! We missed our old friends. We made some new ones. I ran the long distance up over $800, I believe. **SORRY MOM...I'M SERVING MY TIME WITH A TEENAGE DAUGHTER NOW!** 

 We lived here now. Where movies are filmed. Where Goonies never say die!

Where the views are incredible if you aren't scared of heights...even if you are, the view is almost as sweet without climbing those column stairs. Where it rains a ton. Even the locals complain about the liquid sunshine.

My plan was to leave Astoria as soon as I graduated high school & go back to Missouri. Plans changed. My next plan was to move to Portland...because I was a city girl. This town was too small for me. I didn't like everyone knowing what I was doing before I even knew. I didn't feel like I belonged here. I didn't graduate high school because I just wanted out & I knew what was best. No one else knew what I needed. Teenage girls are so smart! I moved to Hillsboro twice & Beaverton once. I had a baby. I moved back to Astoria. That's when perspective started to shift. Hillsboro & Beaverton were suburbs, but they weren't my suburb. My elementary school friends didn't live there. In fact, by now the girl I kept in closest touch with didn't live in Raytown either. She was headed west. I finally began to embrace life here. 

The years went by, I lived in Astoria and in it's surrounding areas, but after coming home from Beaverton with my 5 month old baby girl I didn't move outside of Clatsop County again. By the time she started elementary school I was glad to be in this small community. I was grateful for the smaller schools & all the things I didn't like about them when we moved here. Everyone knew everyone else, and all their business. It isn't perfect, no place is. There are scary things everywhere, but it definitely is safer than the suburbs where we grew up. I still lock my car every place I go & all my doors even when I'm home. 

There are things in Raytown that Astoria will likely never see.

Now Kylie is in 8th grade at a school where her uncle works. Next year she'll go to the high school I first went to 20 years before ( that can't be right...I'm so young) and (WOOHOO) that same uncle coaches there. Sometimes the family knows what she's doing at school before I even find out. When she's out of school, even if she's doing something I have approved of, just in case, if she's spotted & I'm not around, I hear about it. Oh how I HATED that growing up!! Now it warms my heart. How blessed to have all of these people who know & love & care enough to make sure she is safe. It is amazing!

And that Raytown girl that was headed west, she stopped off in Vegas for awhile, met a guy, fell in love & moved to Vancouver, WA a few years later. So now in less than 2 hours we can be at each other's front doors. Last weekend she was in Long Beach with her husband & daughter, so we got to go clam digging with them. Thank goodness she's so close...I don't know if I could live without her.

In 2012 we suffered a great loss. Kylie lost her father. He was on a fishing boat that was lost at sea. It was unimaginable. Losing your father is tragic, especially when he's too young to go. Watching your daughter lose her father, knowing she never even got to say goodbye, is so much worse. I'm thankful everyday for his family & that I have been fortunate enough to be a part of that family. He & I were never married, we hadn't been together since she was just tiny, but they are my family. I love them so & I'm not sure what I would have done without them over the years. When we lost him this community came together with so much love & support it was unbelievable. I loved this place more and more every year that we were here, but in March 2012 I truly learned what it meant to be part of a small town. There aren't words to express all that was done for us. It was so incredible. It is still incredible to me. People still come to me with kind words & stories of Jay, ask how Kylie is doing & offer support. Losing him was devastating & with that loss we gained even more people to love. More people checking in on her or reporting what she's up to.

Jay Bjaranson April 19, 1973-March 10, 2012

Friday night I once again witnessed this outpouring of love, as I do every time this community suffers a loss or has someone who is fighting for their life. Those things happen far too often. In the face of tragedy having all of those people wrap their arms & prayers around you is a special kind of comfort that only a small town can give. So on Friday night I got to go into Salon Boheme and join Kallie's girls along with the girls from Bellisima to help a lovely woman who is fighting right now. Those ladies worked all day, then at 5pm when they would have been headed home to their families they started working for donations so that hopefully some weight is lifted off of this beautiful woman's shoulders. We are all mamas & this is what we do. We join our mama bear strength together & kick ass. I feel so blessed to have been a part of this, to be invited into a salon that I frequent, but don't work at, and to give what I could to this cause. Cancer sucks. It took my dad, it took my grandad & it has taken countless other friends from us. It is terrible to watch that fight...even worse to see someone lose. It is so awesome to watch them WIN!

It wasn't just women..there were some men involved in these efforts. 

Friday night was just the start in this endeavor to give our support to Missy & her family. Justin Grafton Studios was there to capture it all & get behind the effort. Journey's End Espresso provided coffee to keep us going. It was very touching to see all of these people pulling together & giving their love. This is why I'm in love with Astoria. This is how it won my heart & why it is my home. What a fantastic night!

AND THAT'S WHAT WE DID!

Donations for Missy Corcoran are still being accepted at Salon Boheme.