And it's only Wednesday...

You know how they say "shit's about to get real"? Well it's real alright. I know there's a light at the end of this tunnel & we are doing everything we can & everything we are supposed to & all that...yeah, yeah, yeah. That light seems very distant some days. Like today, like yesterday, like this weekend & last week. Seriously...F**KKKKK!!! You know some weeks will be harder, you try to prepare for that, but there's no amount of preparing that will really make it all better, or easier, or just go away.

So last week I said "I might be a little off for the next week or so...it would be my dad's 60th birthday & then it's Father's Day & it'll be a little harder for me so I just want to put out the warning now. If I'm off, that's why." Luckily I'm blessed with an amazing, supportive man & also amazing, supportive friends & family. If not, I'd really be a train wreck right now. Not just like a minor fender bender...

I'm very grateful for all the people who love & support me. I'm also very understanding that everyone has their own stuff & that might interfere with my need for a mental breakdown. I get it. Everyone does their best & that's all we can do. Wouldn't it be nice though if you could say "this week is gonna suck so I need all my people to drop what they've got going on & just snuggle in with me for a 3 day movie marathon...bring all the good snacks & some drinks!"?? Yep. That would be pretty great. That is not how being a grown up works. Not. At. All. It works like this: 

I'm gearing up to survive the weekend, support system confirmed. 

Wednesday night there's a broken ankle...just the universe throwing a wrench in everyone's lives, so that poor guy has to take some time off from his true love: drag racing.

Thursday I had a much needed girls' day.

Friday got some Mom/Sissy/family time in.

Saturday I'm just exhausted & Love was sweet enough to take me on a date.

Sunday drag racing was out so more doing as little as possible & some wine.

Monday...Dad's birthday...SLEEP, snuggled, made yummy dinner & snuggled some more.

Tuesday was a pretty good day.

Today...let me tell you about today...

I got a call from the school before I had finished my coffee. My precious daughter asked a 6th grade boy to bring her weed to school, he did, he gave it to her, but told her he had stolen it so she decided not to take the chance that it had something else in it & flushed it. (One smart choice in there...) This was after others had heard about it, they notified school officials, the police were called, a report was filed, she was read her rights, but without physical evidence there was no arrest. She's done for the school year & unable to attend 8th grade promotion. She's lucky that is all that happened. I feel like I just discussed with her every scenario regarding drugs & alcohol with a big emphasis on TAKING IT TO SCHOOL IS VERY BAD. Oh, yes, yes I did have that talk about a month ago...glad it helped. 

So I let her make the calls explaining why everyone didn't need to worry about attending her 8th grade promotion. Imagine having that chat with your grandma. I also decided that writing about it was more constructive than screaming or crying & hey, if she's embarrassed that anyone reading this knows her business, EVEN BETTER! I feel like this isn't the worst way to handle the situation. I didn't yell or berate her, I didn't beat her, I didn't beg the officer to please put her in juvenile detention just for a night! I'm still working on the rest of my creative consequences. 

With all of this going on, plus the other challenges we are facing in making our kids comfortable & everyone happy, a beastly kitten who (THANK THE LORD) goes in to get spayed on Friday & will hopefully stop her mating cry & peeing, and my taking some time off work this past month & a half, I am feeling that I would like to crawl in to bed, go to sleep & wake up next year when things have smoothed out some. Here's where being a grown up really blows...I can't. I don't get to. It is my job (not solely, but partly) to make sure the kids are comfortable, my kid stops self-destructing, nothing is permanently ruined by Beasty and that we make it through this tunnel as unscathed as possible...and we'll be stronger for it. 

So once more:

THANK YOU TO MY PEOPLE & MY LOVE FOR BACKING ME UP!!! 
I WOULD BE LOST WITHOUT YOU!!!