Sweet, Sweet Daddy

That little quote in the corner is from a
Dove Promises chocolate he gave me
when I visited him in the hospital. It says
"Smile. People will wonder what you've been up to."

My sweet, sweet daddy...that was a name he jokingly signed along with others like Daddy Dearest in all our cards, but it fit him, he was the sweetest. The last birthday we celebrated with him was 8 years ago. Today he would have 61 candles on his cake. Well honestly, probably 1 so he didn't run out of breath or burn the house down! Maybe a 6 and a 1. Instead, I lit a candle for him. If he was here I wouldn't be lighting it because it would probably plug his nose in seconds, but he isn't bothered by allergies anymore so I lit one that smells sweet & summery because he was so sweet & we had so many fun summers together.

I think the past couple years I've missed him just a little more. Instead of the passing of time making it easier, new moments make me wish he was here still, not just silently watching. I wish he could meet Jim because I know they'd be pals. I wish he could see our house plans, help me build a firepit, maybe even a fireplace, tell me what will work best for a chicken coop. I want to call him so he can give me advice for this constant state of struggle Ky & I are in. He gave the best advice. He was so much more calm about things. Everyday I strive to achieve a fraction of that easy-going, understanding approach to dealing with a teenage girl. His girls, we weren't easy, but somehow he could speak calmly & help us decide what was right. Of course we didn't always do the right thing, but I think we had a harder time if we knew what we were doing would disappoint him. 

 I hope I can remember my training when it's time for me to start those new house projects. It has to have been 20 years since I was at the job site with him. My Wicked (another name he jokingly signed in cards referring to my stepmom, who is awesome, not very wicked) sent me his tool bags for my birthday this year. She said, "...I just know how thrilled he would be for you. And would want to be a part of the of the planning and building. Maybe this way it will feel like he is..." 

Today, on his birthday, I will try to look for the good in everything, like he did. I will try not to be sad because he wouldn't want that. I will remember all the funny things he did & said to constantly make us smile. I will smile his smile. I will be grateful for the years I had with him. Grateful that I was blessed with a sweet, sweet daddy who loved his girls & supported us in our choices, helped pick us up when we failed & always encouraged us to be the best we could be. 

Bumper cars with his granbabies at California Adventure.

Making new friends in Downtown Disney.

He knew how to have fun in every single thing he did. He picked the best (weirdest) pet names. He worked hard & did what he loved. He taught his girls that time spent, not money, is what is most important in raising kids. He passed on his love for camping & fishing & sitting around a fire under the stars. He inspired our love for nicknames & teasing & silliness. He taught us to look for the good in others, forgive, love & accept. He tried teaching us patience...I know I'm still working on mastering that. 

So happy birthday my sweet, sweet daddy dearest. Thank you for all you gave us & for continuing to watch over us. 

I love you so much,

Bubba